A More Subtle Way Of Making A Woman Feel Good About Herself
In other sections of this website, I have made the point that that if you can get a woman feeling good about herself whilst she's around and also make it clear to her that you find her sexually attractive – then in most cases you will have created unstoppable momentum towards the bedroom. After that it’s just simply a matter of recognising where she's at in the dance and advancing to the next stage when appropriate. What I want to discuss in this page is one of the essential flirting tips for men – one of the less used (and therefore more valuable) ways you can use to make a woman feel good about herself. Compliments are the obvious feel-good mechanism you can use BUT they are also the first thing that every guy plumps for when he's trying to get a woman to like him. You need to set yourself apart from the other "triers" in the eyes of the woman you are looking to seduce and you therefore need to be different. Timing is crucial when it comes to compliments: use them later rather than sooner and deliver them in such a manner as if the thought has just struck you and really taken you by surprise. Don't overdo them and also be sure that you whatever compliment you deliver lets her know that you are noticing her as a woman. Here's another point I want to add when it comes to giving compliments: if she's fishing for it, DON'T GIVE IT. If she says something like: "Oh, my hair looks like crap today" – the "trier" is going to respond with something schmucky like: "Oh no it doesn't; its looks beautiful." The reason you don't want to come back with a reply like that is simply because it is:
In that situation you should simply smile and say nothing OR respond with something playful such as: "Yeah – I was about to call the authorities about that." It doesn’t matter what you do just as long as you don’t do what she expects you to do which is automatically feed her with a compliment. Keep her on her toes by not following the conventional script. Right – now to the main point … Something that you'll find that nearly all people do (not just women) is admit to a fear or insecurity at some stage. When women do it, it is a sign that they are starting to feel comfortable with you. It also provides you with an opportunity (however briefly) to allow her to feel more comfortable with herself. N.B. This is not the same as fishing for a compliment where she'll be making some comment directly about herself with the unspoken invitation for you to respond by saying something "nice" back to her. An airing of a fear or insecurity tends to be more genuine and is not intended as a bait. Examples would be her talking about things such as having her confidence zapped after her last relationship break-up; or admitting anxiety about getting older and not having had a baby yet; or expressing frustration that her life doesn't match in anyway some of her girlhood ideals. It doesn't really matter what it is but the subtext of what she's saying is that she holds some fears about the future. In any situation where a woman is expressing some fears then you only need to express to her one of two things:
"You're alright" and; "It's going to be alright"
In most cases you won't express them literally using those two words but that will always be the gist of your message. If her subtext is one of fear then your subtext will be one of hope. Notice that neither thing is a compliment (although "you're alright" could be couched in complimentary terms) but what you are doing is taking a moment to lighten somebody's load – and if you do that then she is going to feel better about herself as well as good about the bearer of the message.
|